CHAPTER TWO: Preparations
Two months later-
By this time the planet leaders had already informed their subordinate colony rulers as well as their respective planets inhabitance about the oncoming war and their idea to make the fangirls their armies. Needless to say the fangirls rather liked this, and surprisingly enough it seemed to be working out so far. The rulers trained the girls and they obeyed every order without question, like mindless slaves. AH, yes. Life was perfect.
...wait, weren't they preparing for war? Well, there goes that thought bubble.
'.' .'. '.' .'. '.' .'. '.'
Jakotsu sat boredly on his throne, sliding his finger across the blade of his Jakotsutou, "Damnit, I want to kill something." He sighed and put the sword away, "All these mindless slaves and not a cutie in the bunch." He then spoke into the phone that just magically appeared in his hand, "What do you think, Inu-chan?"
"I think you SHOULD STOP CALLING ME!" Back at his own palace, the silver-haired hanyou slammed the receiver down with a 'hmph' and stormed away, not before ordering the phone to be destroyed.
The ex-shichinintai member blinked, "...Inu-chan? Inuyasha? Augh!" He hung up the phone as well, and looked around disinterested before laying his eyes on a girl trying to juggle (not literally) a phone and a stack of paperwork, "You there! Vile woman who worships me for no reason! What is the status of this war the ex-monk mentioned to me?"
She came up to him, dropping a few things behind her but no one seemed to notice, and answered, "Well, that's what we're working on right now, Jakotsu-sama. The warriors are just about finished with their training, and Miroku-sama has been in contact with Seguchi-sama. It seems the other armies are nearly up to par as well. It shouldn't be too long."
"I...do get to fight in it too, right?"
She adjusted her hold on her papers, "Yeah, if you want."
"GLORIOUS!" Jakotsu cried suddenly, making a few of the nearby servants jump. He clapped his hands together, "Ah, I haven't killed someone in far too long."
"Uh, yes, Jakotsu-sama..." she sweatdropped. The girl started to sweat-rain when he kept staring at her, "Um, Jakotsu-sama...?"
"Who are you again?" he blurted. She face-faulted, "I'm Danan. Remember? I've only been you're army general and personal servant for the past two months!" she finished with a little tick mark.
"Oh..." he blinked, "...really?"
"ARGH!"
'.' .'. '.' .'. '.' .'. '.'
Momiji fidgeted in his seat. This war had him worried. Not for the safety of his troops or anything like that, no, he was sure everything'd be okay. What he was REALLY worried about was...
"I don't know who's butt we should kick FIRST!" He gave up sitting and started jumping in his chair, the pink skirt he insisted on wearing swaying with each bounce. He called out to his right-hand man- er, woman, "TREY-CHAN! MORE CANDY!"
"Yes, sir, Momiji-sama, sir!" she replied hyperly. She was almost as hyperactive as Momiji himself. Her comrades stared at her as she carried out the request.
Damn. They didn't think anyone could be as hyper as Momiji-sama.
'.' .'. '.' .'. '.' .'. '.'
Somewhere on a distant moon...
The phone was ringing. Touma sighed, coming up from the basement again, "What is it this time? Can't I have one moment's peace with- er, nevermind." He answered the phone, "Seguchi."
"Toouumaa!" came the wailing voice that could only belong to one former-singer, "I just had a GREAT idea! Give KUMAGORO a planet!"
Touma stared at the phone.
"...Touma?"
He sighed, knowing that unfortunately Ryuuichi wasn't kidding, "...no."
"But Toum-!" Touma hung up the phone.
"Why did I even give him a planet in the first place?"
'.' .'. '.' .'. '.' .'. '.'
"WAAA! TOUMA IS SO MEAN!" Ryuuichi sobbed, falling onto the floor.
-sigh- "Did Seguchi-sama hang up on you again?" asked his army general. So far they had no intentioned of entering the war- or at least Ryuuichi still thought so- but they had trained an army just in case.
"EVEN WORSE! HE WOULDN'T GIVE KUMA-CHAN A PLANET!" he blinked before new tears came, "AND HE DID HANG UP ON ME!"
She patted him on the head, "There there. Would you like Kuma-chan? Would that make you happy?"
Nod.
"Okay," she picked Kumagoro off the ground a few feet away and handed it to Ryuuichi, "Here."
Sniffle, "Sankyuu, Yuri-chan..."
'.' .'. '.' .'. '.' .'. '.'
"Dark-sama! We are done with the preparations. Everything is ready for when you give the order!"
The ex-phantom thief smiled to himself, "Very good, Alexis. I'm sure we'll get sucked into this somehow, so it's better to be ready for it, beforehand."
Alexis bowed, "Yes, Dark-sama," she straightened to notice he was still looking at her, "Is there...something else you need?"
"Hm? Oh, yes..." he tapped his chin thoughtfully, "I desire...a pencil."
"A...pencil?"
"Yes."
She sweatdropped, and muttered "I don't even want to know..." as she went to fetch her master a pencil.
'.' .'. '.' .'. '.' .'. '.'
Ran lay on his large bed, with a phone pressed up to his ear. He twirled a few strands of hair around his forefinger, and thought out loud, "I wonder if I could overthrow Touma..."
Suddenly he heard hurried footsteps approaching his room. The cause of said noise threw open the double doors, clumsily falling over then jumping back up, and shouted, "Ran-sama! I have news!"
"Not now, Hailey. I'm on the phone, can't you see that?"
"But you're not talking! I've been eavesdropping on your conversation for the past- er...I didn't say that," her face flushed and she cleared her throat before continuing, "Anyway Ran-sama, the last of your fangirl army is nearly finished training, and I think we'll be done by the time we're given the OK. What do you want to do first when it's cleared?"
"Fangirls, only good for one thing..." Ran grumbled, "Wish we could've just taken them out, eh, Yoru?" A grunt confirmed that his lover was still on the line.
"Ran-sama?" Hailey inquired, "Your orders?"
"Oh, yes, that..." an evil smile slowly spread across his face, "Forget the war. We have much bigger targets."
'.' .'. '.' .'. '.' .'. '.'
Roy was drooling. He knew it and he didn't care. He LOVED that they were allowed to pick uniforms for their troops. He couldn't stress how much he LOVED that. And now, his palace was a touch closer to heaven.
Suddenly, the object of his admiration obscured his view, close up.
"Roy-sama?"
He heard the girl talking but didn't want to avert his eyes all the way up to her face, when he could stare at-
"Miniskirt..." he mumbled near-incoherently. The girl who sported the skirt, however, knew what he had said and poised her fingers in a snapping position, giving a threatening, "Roy-sama..."
Oh, right. He'd given all of his soldiers those fire-snappy gloves. He silently cursed himself, wishing he'd waited until the battlefield to hand them out. Slowly his gaze made it's way up, certainly capturing all of her curves along the way, until it landed on her blonde-framed face, "...uh, yes, Kat?"
"I just thought you'd like to know, Roy-sama, that we've received word from Seguchi-sama. All of the other armies seem to be just about finished, so he's about to give the signal. Shouldn't you be present in the transmission room for that?"
He grumbled lowly, "Yes, I suppose I should..."
"Oh, and Edo-sama is on the phone for you."
"EH? Why?"
"I dunno. Ask him yourself," she handed him the phone, then left on other important duties.
"What is it?" he said tiredly into the phone.
"MUSTANG!" came the grating voice of one Edward Elric, "You're just sitting around staring at the girls like the perv you are, aren't you!"
"Why no, Edo, of course not," his words held no enthusiasm.
A snort, "Yeah, right. You know, when Seguchi gives the signal, we have to be the first ones out there! There's no maybe in joining this fight! SO YOU CAN'T BE DISTRACTED BY MINISKIRTS!"
The ex-military officer held the phone away at arm's length, cleaning his ear out to stop the ringing, "Yes, I understand that, Fullmetal."
"And don't you call me that! We're not in Amestris anymore! I'm not your dog!"
He leaned back in his comfy throne, with That Smirk on his face, "Could've fooled me, Fullmetal."
"Why, you...!"
'.' .'. '.' .'. '.' .'. '.'
"That stupid bastard! How DARE he challenge ME! In WAR! I'll KILL his ass!" Envy paced back and forth in his big luxurious room. He'd been griping about Gareas most often as of late, seeing as the start of the war would soon begin. All they needed now was the 'OK' from Touma.
"Um, Envy-sama?" came a muffled voice from the other side of the bedroom door, "Is there anything I could do for-"
"NO, Emma! I told you to go away!" he yelled back.
"But, sir, I'm only trying to-"
"NO!"
"But-"
"NO!"
There was silence at the other end for a long moment, and Envy had thought- hoped- that she'd gone away, until the voice came again, "Then I suppose you don't want to hear that Seguchi-sama has OKed the start of the war?"
Silence. Stomp-stomp-stomp. He flung open the door, "WHAT?"